Devil's dinner
by GGina8
Summary: One-shot that takes place during 3x13. Just after dinner is over and their new neighbours have left, Lucifer starts feeling quite sick, and his new "husband" has to make sure that the Devil does not end up dying on the first day of their sting operation. Pierce/Lucifer friendship. Space-filler, does not disrupt the main storyline.


**A/N: Just a small story that came to mind after watching 3x13. This story fits into the flow of the events without disrupting the main storyline and takes place during their first night** **in Suburbia. Pure Lucifer-Pierce fluff. Not intended as slash but can be interpreted as such. Also there might be some minor inaccuracies when it comes to medical stuff, but I tried my best. Warning: sick Lucifer ahead!**

 **Enjoy! :)**

 _ **Devil's dinner**_

Lucifer had just finished arranging a DJ for the next day when a sudden queasy feeling had started to settle in his stomach. He tried to ignore it deciding that maybe their new neighbours did not use the premium ingredients, in the casserole that they brought, that the Devil's stomach was used to. After all he did _not_ get sick.

Pierce was quietly washing the dishes in the kitchen, soft sounds of water splashing in the distance providing a soothing background noise. The Detective was most likely in her car in front of their house hoping that maybe the neighbourhood watchdog would leave them a welcome message.

Just in case this watchdog person had decided to leave them alone for tonight, Lucifer was going to make sure that they would not be ignored after tomorrow's shenanigans. He was just inviting the second girl to his impromptu front lawn party when his stomach lurched once more and he had to take several deep breaths to ensure that he would not see his dinner again.

The Devil frowned. Low quality ingredients or not, he should not be having this kind of reaction. He tried to focus on his breathing as saliva started to flood his mouth.

"I'm done with the kitchen. We should start settling in for the night." Pierce appeared in the doorway, sleeves still rolled up and a tired expression on his face. As he stepped closer he seemed to notice his partner's distress. "Are you alright, Lucifer?"

Instead of an answer the Devil quickly dashed into the downstairs bathroom just in time to empty his stomach's contents into the toilet bowl.

The Lieutenant was quick to follow him and understanding the situation, he filled a glass with water and wet a towel, softly placing it on the still retching Devil's neck.

Lucifer flinched as the cold rag made contact with his heated skin, but as he was about to comment another fit seized his stomach and he was heaving above the toilet again. While he was gagging Pierce went back to the living room for the radio, through which the Detective was trying to get their attention.

"Decker, can you hear me?" For a split second Lucifer itched with the desire to punch Cain for sounding so calm and collected, but then he heaved again and all other thoughts left him.

"Yeah. What happened? Last thing I heard was you asking Lucifer if he is alright." Chloe sounded worried and it would have been heart-warming for the Devil if he wasn't preoccupied with vomiting his guts out.

"Lucifer is sick. Most likely food-poisoning from the casserole that the new neighbours brought over. I am going to need you to get a few things from the CVS Pharmacy on Ventura Boulevard." Lucifer, who by now was breathing shallowly on the marble tiles next to the toilet wanted to protest that it could not be food poisoning, because he did not get sick, but he still wasn't sure that he could keep from gagging further if he opened his mouth.

"Why that pharmacy? It is on the other side of LA, over an hour drive from here. I'm sure that there are others open 24/7." Chloe argued. She had never seen Lucifer sick and was terrified of the possibility that the poisoning may have been intentional. After a breath she added "Are you sure ha hasn't been deliberately poisoned by something else? Didn't you guys eat the same thing?"

While Decker had a point she didn't know that Pierce had the sense of mind not to eat anything that their new neighbours brought, fearing this exact outcome so when questioned he had told Lucifer that he was trying to "watch his weight" and surprisingly no further questions were asked.

"I'm sure it is not poisoning, Decker. Our neighbours also ate from the dish they brought seemingly from random places, but I didn't." He thought for a minute how to ensure that the Detective followed his orders. Of course he had to be on this sting operation with two of the most stubborn people in the LAPD. "As for the pharmacy, I told you to go there because I know they will have everything we need and you would be wasting more time if you went around other pharmacies trying to find them."

He started to dictate a long list of items that made Chloe wonder just how serious Lucifer's food poisoning was and as soon as she was finished reading it back to the Lieutenant to make sure she got everything she was on her way, speeding through the LA night.

Lucifer was heaving again, but there was nothing else but bile coming up, which only served to make him even more nauseous. Pierce waited for it to subside while going to their medicine cabinet and hoping to find a thermometer. When they had arranged the sting they made sure to get the basics of everything to ensure their cover. Thermometer in hand he went back into the bathroom where Lucifer was shivering on the ground, head leaned against the wall tiles, breathing uneven and rapid.

"Shouldn't you be getting better now that Decker is gone?" He had assumed that by sending Chloe on an errand run it would give Lucifer's immortality enough time to kick in and fight whatever was making him sick.

"I don't know. I have never been sick before that was not from the hangover of some new drug." The Devil panted. Despite having emptied his stomach, there was still an uncomfortable pressure there that promised even more dry-heaving.

"I'm gonna need you to drink the glass of water quickly." Pierce prompted moving the glass closer to his sick partner.

"Won't that just make me throw up again?" Lucifer panted. In his experience, small slow sips were the most effective in these situations.

"Yeah, it will. But assuming you are sick because of what you ate, the water will help flush the remains of it from your stomach."

Lucifer's shaking hand reached for the glass and he drank it down in three huge gulps. His breathing sped up again and within seconds of putting down the glass he was gagging, clear water mixed with bile coming up.

By the time he was done Pierce had refilled the glass and was handing it to him again. "Two more times." The Devil gave him a rueful look but complied, hoping that the Lieutenant's medical expertise wasn't based on wild guessing.

When he was done heaving the second time he leaned back against the bathroom tiles, shivering and exhausted. Pierce switched on the electric thermometer and handed it to the Devil.

"Put this under your left arm. I want to see how high your fever is." His voice carried a confident, serious tone, that usually made victims feel safe.

"Why would I do that? I don't even know if I run on normal human temperature to begin with." Lucifer whined and Pierce had a feeling that he was doing it just for the sake of protesting. The Devil always assumed that he ran on relatively normal human temperature, since none of his bed partners felt too cold or hot for him, but in his 6 years on Earth he had never actually got his temperature checked or been to a decent medical examination that did not involve some sort of kinky role play.

Cain shrugged. "Fine." He had his resting Pierce face on again and Lucifer wondered why he cared so much.

"Do you still feel like you are going to puke your guts out?" Lucifer contemplated the question. Yes, he was still nauseous, but nowhere near as much as a couple of minutes ago. Also his mouth wasn't watering anymore, so probably there wasn't an immediate danger of throwing up.

"I think I'm a bit better." He went to stand up but his legs were unstable at best and he would have crashed back to the floor if it wasn't for the Lieutenant's hands stabilizing him.

"Easy." Cain waited until he was sure that the Devil wouldn't fall and then let him walk on his own up into the master bedroom. They had agreed that in order to maintain their cover they would be sleeping in the master bedroom together, lest it be suspicious for any of their neighbours to see the light on in their guest bedroom as well.

"You should probably shower and get changed, I will get you a bowl in case you need to throw up again during the night." Pierce went to leave the room, but Lucifer's words stopped him.

"Why do you care so much? I mean not that I mind you playing Florence Nightingale, but I thought you could care less about how I'm feeling." As Cain turned back and he could see that Lucifer had already shed his pink sweater and was currently unbuttoning his shirt. If it were anyone else he would have raised an eyebrow, but after thousands of years he could care less about nudity, especially when it came to another immortal being.

"I care because this is my department, my case, my operation and you dying in the middle of it would leave quite a mark on my reputation." He paused thinking how to phrase the other reason behind his actions. "Also, we made a deal and I'm not letting you die before you've held up your end of it."

By then Lucifer had already stripped down to his hot pink boxers and Pierce took it as his cue to leave the room.

A couple of minutes later when he returned with a plastic bowl and some paperwork that he needed to go over, the shower was still running in their en-suite bathroom so he settled into the armchair and started going over the reports.

Fifteen or so minutes later Lucifer emerged with a towel around his waist and a steam cloud in his wake.

"You look better." Cain remarked nonchalantly and he really did. His ashen complexion was gone replaced with heated rosiness from the shower and he looked less tired, less ill, more like Lucifer.

"I certainly feel better. My nausea is almost gone and I am no longer shivering." Pierce wanted to point out that it could simply be the fact that the shower had heated his body to a temperature that sufficed his fever, but let it go.

Lucifer strutted to his wardrobe and pulled out a long sleeve t-shirt and some pyjama bottoms and Cain shifted his focus back to the paperwork, not overly interested in watching Lucifer get dressed.

The former ruler of Hell seeing that his "husband" wasn't paying attention, dressed quickly and without much of a show then went to lie down under the covers.

"Try not to fall asleep yet. I am still not sure that when Decker comes back you won't start getting sick again."

Lucifer huffed. While it was a solid theory, he was tired and the DJ would be arriving at 7:30 in the morning, leaving him with less than 6 hours of sleep if he fell asleep now.

"Fine, then let's talk. I have always loved pillow-talk." Lucifer settled under the covers, head on his pillow big dark eyes facing Pierce in the armchair.

"I have already told you that I am not a fan of sharing." The Lieutenant said dismissively and tried to think of any neutral topic that they could talk about.

"Very well, then I talk and you listen." Lucifer suggested and going by his enthusiasm it was going to be quite a lewd story.

"You really love the sound of your own voice, don't you?" Pierce smiled sarcastically, he wondered if Decker had ever managed to shut Lucifer up without gagging him.

"What do you want then? Truth or dare? Spin the bottle? Strip poker?" Lucifer wiggled his eyebrows suggestively to which Pierce let out a tired sigh.

"Why is everything about sex with you?" As an immortal he doubted that there had been anything that he hadn't tried in the bedroom, but none of it had made him as excited as Lucifer got by the notion of anything sex-related.

"I know it has been a while for you so you may have forgotten, but sex is fun. And it tends to be quite pleasurable. Sometimes painful too, but then again I doubt you would know anything about that. You seem awfully vanilla to me." Lucifer looked him up and down and his smile was almost pitying.

"You would be surprised what I have tried." The Lieutenant's voice wasn't exactly a purr but it definitely dropped an octave.

"Oh really, enlighten me then." Lucifer's smile was predatory and Pierce had a bad feeling that this conversation was tumbling down a dangerous path.

"I have a better idea. Why don't you try to name something that I _haven't_ tried in bed as you think yourself so experienced?"

For over twenty minutes they kept going back-and-forth about different places, items, activities, positions et cetera to be used or done during sex each one of them more extreme than the latter, but neither of them seemed to have tried anything the other one haven't. Lucifer was shocked. He never pegged Pierce for the kinky type, but now he was rethinking it. He would be quite an intriguing lover indeed.

A sudden wave of nausea jarred him from the light mood and his hand immediately went for the large plastic bowl that Pierce had placed next to the bed.

"Are you feeling sick again?" Instead of a verbal answer the Devil simply nodded, trying to take slow and even breaths. He had thought it was over now that the poisonous food was out of his body.

The Lieutenant went to the window to look out of it. "Decker must be close then." As if on cue their radio suddenly started to crackle with static and then the Detective's voice could be heard.

"Lucifer, Lieutenant, can you hear me? I am almost at the house. Got everything you asked for."

Pierce picked it up and answered. "We can hear you, Decker. I will be out in a minute to pick up the meds." With one final look at the queasy looking Devil, Cain went downstairs and after having made sure that they were not being observed he went to meet the Detective at her car.

Chloe's worry was evident on her face. "How is he? Shouldn't we pull him from the operation?"

"Relax Decker, Lucifer is tough. His fever is almost gone and he hasn't thrown up in the past hour. He should be fine by tomorrow." Pierce tried to soothe his distressed Detective while trying desperately to think of how to get her out of the area.

"You should head home. Get some rest. Tomorrow will be a long day and I am going to need you to be on top alert while watching our neighbours' reactions to Lucifer's shenanigans. I doubt the watchdog will show up tonight." His voice was warm and soothing and he tried to play on the knowledge that Decker was attracted to him.

"Unless the food poisoning wasn't a coincidence. If either member of the couple is the watchdog, it could have been a warning. No offence Lieutenant, but I would rather stay for tonight and send someone to relieve me in the morning" Cain had a feeling that the Detective's worry wasn't entirely case-related, besides he knew that Lucifer couldn't avoid Chloe forever so whatever was wrong with him would eventually have to get better while she was around.

"Fine. Stay the night if you want." Pierce waved a hand dismissively but his facial expression made it clear that he wasn't happy with the Detective's stubbornness. "Thank you for the meds, Decker. Goodnight." He went back into the house only to find Lucifer in the upstairs bathroom breathing heavily in front of the toilet.

"Did you throw up again?" He started going through the meds that Chloe brought and took out several pills from bottles a glass phial, a syringe and a hypodermic needle.

Lucifer shook his head. _Not yet._ But he knew that he was really close to heaving again.

Pierce broke off the tip of the glass phial and sucked some of its contents into the syringe before disposing of the remains. Lucifer, distracted by his ministrations stopped leaning over the toilet and rested his back against the cool tile.

"What is that for?" He eyed the syringe distrustfully. Since he was still immortal, and therefore invulnerable by Earthly devices whenever the Detective was not around, he had never had an injection before. Sure, he did know what it was and not one of his bed partners or partygoers had injections as their preferred method of taking drugs, but until now Chloe had always been too far away for him to try it.

"This should stop your vomiting, so you can take the pills." Pierce flicked the syringe a couple of times to get rid of the air bubbles and Lucifer watched transfixed as he depressed the plunger to push the air and the excess medicine out. "Roll up your sleeve."

Ignoring the command, the Devil sat frozen in spot, vary of having something _injected_ into him. "How do you know it will work? Last I checked you were working as a cop, not a doctor."

"Believe it or not, I have graduated med-school. Twice. Imagine my disappointment when I realised that even with the most up-to-date medical knowledge I couldn't find a way to kill myself." Pierce's smile was bitter.

Lucifer snorted, there was something terribly ironic about the world's first murderer becoming a doctor. "You should have asked for your money back." He hesitantly rolled up the sleeve of his left arm and stretched it out towards the Lieutenant.

However, as Cain was tying the tourniquet above his elbow, Lucifer's nausea suddenly peaked and he leaned over to retch into the toilet once more. Nothing came up of course, but he kept heaving for another five or so minutes before he could sit back on the floor again.

The Devil groaned. "Why am I so sick?" he whined, but it was clearly a rhetorical question and then as an afterthought he added "Why aren't you?".

"Probably because I had the sense of mind not to eat anything that our neighbours brought." Cain said taking hold of Lucifer's arm once again and trying to find a vein to push the injection into.

"You could have warned me as –" Lucifer went quiet and watched with a morbid fascination as the needle penetrated his arm and Pierce pushed the syringe's contents into his vein with practised ease.

It burned a little, but the feeling quickly passed and he leant back against the cool tiles, waiting for the nausea to subside. "Thank you."

"You are welcome." Pierce disposed of the syringe and filled another cup with water, handing it to Lucifer. "When your nausea passes, try to take small sips of this and then if it stays down you should take the pills as well."

Lucifer nodded and a comfortable silence settled over them. It was quite absurd: The Devil and the World's first murderer sitting opposite eachother on a bathroom floor in the middle of the night, but there was something oddly comforting about it as well.

Opening his eyes to take the cup, Lucifer lazily observed Pierce. His head was tipped back against their bathtub, lines of exhaustion marring his face and the former Ruler of Hell was once again reminded that the man in front of him was still human, he still needed sleep just like any of them.

"What about sleep deprivation?" Lucifer broke the silence between two small sips from his cup and Cain looked up at him with confusion.

"What?" He was usually quite quick to catch on when Lucifer was suggesting ways to kill him so his confusion was proof of the depth of his exhaustion.

"Have you tried death by sleep deprivation? I mean it surely must be quite tedious, but it's worth a shot." Lucifer contemplated just how exactly they would be able to pull it off. He didn't necessarily need sleep, but he did not want to spend weeks just watching Pierce and making sure that he did not fall asleep.

"Yes I have, and it sucked so I would rather not do it again. I get very little sleep as it is." Cain sighed thinking about all the paperwork he would need to go over once the sting operation was over.

They were silent for a little while and slowly Lucifer got up to refill the cup and take the pills Pierce had laid out for him, his nausea was almost completely gone and all that was left was a bone deep weariness, that felt like it was weighing down his limbs.

Pierce also got up and headed for the bedroom. "Come on, Let's get you into bed."

Testament to the fact that the Devil was feeling better were his words that followed next. "Hmmm, Lieutenant. I thought you would never ask." His voice held a sultry slur that had Pierce rolling his eyes.

The Lieutenant sat down onto the armchair and picked up the reports again and Lucifer pouted while settling under the covers. "No goodnight kiss for your husband?"

Pierce just raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Goodnight, Lucifer."

Lucifer closed his eyes and with a satisfied smile he whispered. "Goodnight, _Mark_."

Next morning at 8AM Pierce woke up to the sound of blaring music and Lucifer shouting "Wooohooo" like a maniac.

The files he had been reviewing (before most likely falling asleep on top of them) were put neatly into a stack next to the armchair and there was a soft blanket draped over him.

* * *

 **A/N: Reviews are welcome and always inspire my further work :)**


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